Parenting is a topic I generally try to avoid in these devotionals because it is an area where I probably have the most doubts about my abilities. Can I just say that being a parent is tough? When I stop and truly think about the responsibility of raising kids, disciplining them, listening to them, talking with them, and encouraging them all while trying to maintain a loving, nurturing environment, it is slightly overwhelming.
My kids see me at my worst. They are with me when I’m rushed and don’t have patience or time for reasoning (definitely first thing in the morning when we need to get out the door!), they are right there when I get aggravated by the carpool line or heavy traffic, they get served the dinners where the new recipe didn’t quite turn out, and their favorite time to finally open up and talk to me is at the very end of the day when I am completely exhausted.
Like most parents, I think my kids are great (not without mistakes and slip-ups) but still pretty great. They have compassionate giving hearts. They make me laugh and cry and sometimes even at the same time. I am blessed every single day for the opportunity to be their mom. I really do get that.
But they are kids (mine are actually teenagers now which is probably a whole other issue) and some days it feels as though they know exactly how to push my buttons. And although in this dynamic relationship, I should be the mature one, the wiser one, the patient and calm one, I realized recently that I had become a reflector of whatever behavior they were exhibiting whether it was just a bad mood, a sassy tongue, or just flat out disobedience.
Their bad moods were met with my own bad mood. Their biting words were met with my own. Their disobedience was met with anger. Not only was my behavior making each situation worse, but I wasn’t even able to appropriately discipline and correct my kids because I was feeling too guilty over my own actions.
My heart became burdened and troubled and I began to pray more earnestly about my relationships with my kids. There is such power in prayer. Through scripture and the example of Jesus, He showed me exactly how I could improve the relationship with my kids and honor Him in the process.
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I began reading once again about the story of Mary and Martha that is chronicled in Luke 10:38 – 42. Not too long ago, Christ used this scripture to help me better understand the principle of the “Highlight Reel” (you can read that devotional by clicking here). But this time in studying this story, He showed me something else.
As the scripture reads and I paraphrase, Martha was aggravated by Mary’s choice to sit with Jesus rather than help with the meal preparations. She had worked herself up about it so much that she went directly to Jesus and basically said “Make her help me” (in a roundabout kind of way)! She was flustered, angry, and disrespectful. As a parent, we can all sympathize with Jesus in being addressed this way.
But did Jesus handle this situation like I have with my kids demands in the past? Did he reflect back to Martha the same behavior she was exhibiting toward him? Of course not. I mean, He is Jesus! He didn’t make the conflict worse. He didn’t throw back to her any of the attitude she just laid on him. In fact, rather than being a reflector, He showed us as parents how to react as the complete opposite.
He calmly said Martha’s name a few times and then made an observation with a kind and loving voice. He knew how to diffuse situations, He understood how to be able to correct and discipline in a loving way, and He fully took these opportunities as a chance to teach. When we rely on Christ’s strength through prayer and bible study (it is abundantly clear that I can’t do this on my own), we can begin to respond to our parenting opportunities much more like Jesus.
Our kids are studying us even when we don’t realize it. They are looking to us to learn how to respond to other people, situations, and hardships. And even though our kids (especially my teenagers) probably don’t want to admit it, they admire and emulate who we are (this is scary stuff, my friends!).
My prayer is that we will be worthy of their admiration. That the actions we take and the words we speak would honor Christ. That our lives will be a continual reminder to our kids and even grandkids of the unconditional love that Christ has given to us. That our reflection would be that of Christ living through us.
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