Last year, I was driving along on a beautiful spring day when I had to stop behind someone that was turning left off a very busy road. My eyes were focused on the car in front of me and so I did not notice the big truck coming up behind me that just never slowed down. I wasn’t braced for the impact or prepared for the shock of getting hit from behind.
Thankfully everyone involved in the wreck walked away that day with relatively minor injuries. It wasn’t until a day or two later that I would realize how sore I was from the impact. But after a few months of physical therapy and some ibuprofen, I was back on track. But that collision left me with a lingering side effect.
When I talked to our insurance agent right after the wreck, he mentioned that I might experience a little nervousness in getting back behind the wheel of my car. I was sure that would not apply to me. I was wrong. Ever since that day, I spend a great deal of time glancing in the rear-view mirror. When I see someone coming up behind me at a fast pace, I still get nervous.
Sometimes it is hard to stay focused on the road in front of us because we are too busy looking back.
I find this happens often in my spiritual life as well. There are situations, issues, struggles that I spend time praying through. I lay it all at the Savior’s feet. I agree to let Him take it and quit worrying about it. I let go of the unrest and uneasiness and allow His perfect peace to take over. And then after a few days (maybe a few weeks), I start looking back. Skeptical about my decision, questioning Christ’s timing, and doubting His plan. And then my faith begins to fade. One step forward, two steps back.
Then there are those “rainy days” in life when we spend a great deal of time looking back at past mistakes and failures that we have made. Those areas of our past where we continue to struggle with letting go of the guilt, the hurt, and even the bitterness. We question the forgiveness of our sins and how Christ could love us much less continue to work in our lives. Another two steps back.
Why do we do this? Why do we look back with questions and doubts? Why do we allow our faith to fade? Probably for the same reason the Israelites kept looking back towards Egypt when Moses was leading them to the promised land from a life of slavery. You can read about their fascinating story beginning in the book of Exodus. Similar to our daily lives at times, their journey was not a smooth ride. They faced obstacles and challenges. And they began to look back. They doubted Christ’s love, questioned His plan, and were skeptical of their future.
So, what does our instruction book for life say to us about looking back? The Bible makes it abundantly clear in Philippians 3:13.
As followers of Christ, we are to let go of the past, keep our focus firmly on our Savior, and move boldly into the future trusting that He’s got this!
There are elements to reflection and looking back that can be healthy. I still think looking in the rear-view mirror is going to keep me safer on the road, but definitely not as safe as looking forward. Looking back at times can help us learn from past mistakes and correct them for the future, but we should never doubt Christ’s forgiveness when we seek it for those mistakes. We can also look back over our lives and be reassured by all the times Christ has taken care of us, provided for us, and helped us through difficulties.
It is difficult to understand that if we continually focus on what is behind us that we will “miss” what is going on in front of us. Not only is that a dangerous way to drive, it robs us of the joy of going forward. When we continue to look back in our lives with questions and doubt, we miss out on the joy and the blessings that Christ has right in front of us.
My prayer is that we will have unwavering faith, that we will forget (but learn from) those mistakes that are behind us, that we will instead keep our focus firmly on Christ, and look forward to what He has ahead for us. It is then that we can experience His joy, His peace, and His forgiveness.
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