A Teachable Spirit

Posted on May 24, 2015 by tammie@chaostochrist.com

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I have no doubt my children are blessings from the Lord.  Not because they are perfect or because they have it all figured out.  I’m crazy about them for so many reasons, but an extra blessing is what the Lord teaches me through them.

This Spring brought with it a new opportunity for my daughter.  She had the chance to try out for the pom team at her school.  As a mother, part of me wanted her to have nothing to do with this process.  Not because she wasn’t capable but because I have seen her disappointed heart in the past and so wanted to protect her from those feelings.  I also knew it would be challenging.  There are so many talented girls trying out for the same spots.

I found myself worrying about it weeks before tryouts even began.  The Lord tugged at my heart to turn it over to Him – to pray about it every time I felt my mind drift towards worry.  I began to pray not that the Lord would make sure my daughter made the team but that He would use the experience in her life to grow her, to teach her, to mold her to be more like Him.

It was a true joy to witness her determination, her work ethic, and her compassionate heart for others shine brightly during the process.  But looking back, what the Lord wanted to teach me through watching her was the teachable spirit she reflected.

My daughter wanted to learn, to understand, to improve.  She asked for critique, feedback, and help and then followed the advice she received.  She learned from her mistakes. She didn’t try to rely on just what she knew or to do it all on her own.  She allowed others to help her.  I watched her over and over again practice to make sure she was getting it right.  There were times she fell or stumbled and had to start over.  But that didn’t stop her.  She stood back up and tried again.  I watched her over and over again practice the instruction that she received to make sure she was getting it right.

The Lord reminded me through all of this that this teachable spirit is exactly what He desires from each of us.  That we would realize we can’t do this life on our own.  That we would seek Him and His guidance through prayer and spending time in His word.  That we would be obedient and faithful to His direction.  And that even when we don’t understand the why’s or how’s, that we would trust Him.  That when we stumble and fall (I can so relate), that we get back up again relying on His strength and His grace.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ~ James 1:2-6

The Lord did answer my prayer in that my daughter grew through the tryout experience.  The Lord is faithful in that way.  She actually made the team, which was a real bonus.  But that wasn’t what our prayers centered on.  There were so many greater things to learn through the process than just the end result.  I think I grew through the process as well and I’m so grateful for what the Lord taught me.

My prayer is that we start each new day with a teachable spirit, that we seek His true wisdom with our whole heart, that we quit making the same mistakes, that we get back up when life gets hard, and through His unfailing grace that we would find joy in the trying.

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Keeping Your Balance

Posted on May 13, 2015 by tammie@chaostochrist.com

Keeping Your Balance

In an effort to get in better shape, I have recently tried to learn the practice of yoga.  As easy and relaxing as the yoga exercises might appear when watching others, I’m beginning to have a better understanding that these stretching and balancing techniques require a great deal of skill and practice.

There is one particular exercise that has definitely “stretched” my abilities and required a real balancing act. It is called inner balance, which sounds so soothing and relaxing, but it has been anything but that for me. It starts out so simple. You put all your weight on one leg while slightly raising the other foot off the floor holding your hands in the prayer position.  That is the easy part.  Then one simple thing is added – closing your eyes.  Suddenly, I found myself out of balance and falling over (again and again).  It was then that I finally understood why your hands needed to be in the prayer position.  If I had any chance of staying in balance, praying was my only hope.

That exercise reminded me of the times in our lives when we try so hard just to stay upright and balanced all while life hurls challenges, disappointments, and even devastations our way.  We struggle not knowing for sure what’s around the bend or how to make sense of it all. All of this chaos can so easily overwhelm us causing us to stumble and lose our footing.  When that happens, we are left feeling weak and defeated without a sure foundation on which to stand.

There was a great man in the Bible named Habakkuk (can’ t imagine why more people don’t name their kids after him) who can relate to those same feelings.  He was called by God to lead through extremely tough circumstances.  He spent a great deal of time praying through his situation and when God revealed to him His plans, Habakkuk struggled to understand.  And he wasn’t afraid to ask God tough questions as he wrestled through his doubts.  But in the end, Habakkuk learned to put all his trust in God who was the true source of his strength and his balance.

The last verse in this short book of only 3 chapters (certainly worth a read!) sums up the key for Habakkuk and each of us to be able to keep our footing even when we find ourselves in the midst of tough terrain.

The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, And He will make me walk on my high hills. ~ Habakkuk 3:19

Just as a deer could walk on mountain tops without fear of falling, our footing and our balance can be absolutely sure when our trust is placed in the Lord and we derive our strength from him.  I love how the Lord gives us just what we need.  He understands that on our own we struggle at times even to stand up right.  That we can become so blinded by the darkness of our world that we begin to question and doubt.  And He desires to be our strength and to give us sure footing just like he gave Habakkuk. With God, he will enable us to walk and keep our balance in the “high hills” – the trials, struggles, and difficulties that we are facing.  Not only that, he can give us the sure footedness that we need to climb to greater heights.  In the very midst of our tough circumstances, He can lift us up.

My prayer is that we understand the source of our balance as we walk the pathways of life.  That we seek His face, turn to Him in prayer (even asking the tough questions and sharing our doubts), listen for His voice through reading scripture, and place our trust firmly in Him.

See you on the high hills,

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Gifts My Mother Gave Me

Posted on May 10, 2015 by tammie@chaostochrist.com

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It has been said that we are our mother’s daughters and for that I am grateful.  So many of the shared special moments that I recall from my childhood are the exact same ones I have created with my own daughter –  singing loudly in the car together, shopping for just the right outfit and hoping for a bargain, watching movies that make us cry, and sitting together at the end of a long day just talking.

There are many things about being a mother that I learned from my mom.  And yet it took years and children of my own to truly realize how fortunate I am to have a mother in my life that blessed me with a wonderful example. My mother gave me many gifts growing up but the ones I am most grateful for are the lasting gifts she gave me that paved the way for my own parenting.

She was there for me.  In every sense of the word, my mother was there for me.  Not just on the good days, not just in the big moments of life, not just when it was convenient for her schedule.  My mother was there for me everyday.

She cared for me.  I always had clean clothes without having to search out the laundry room for something to wear.  She also put dinner on the table each night and kept our house clean.  Oh, how I appreciate all this now.

She encouraged me. When I came home with tears in my eyes, she hugged me, she comforted me, and she always knew the right words to say to encourage me.  She gave me confidence to try new things and encouraged me to give my very best.

She took time for herself.  She walked with friends in the neighborhood and made time to continue to develop her beautiful talent of oil painting.  She understood that allowing time for herself actually made her a better mother.

She allowed me to make mistakes.  She didn’t try to fix all my problems or come to my rescue every time but instead gave me some opportunities to learn from my mistakes and even feel the sting of disappointment.  She knew it was for my own good even though I know it broke her heart.

She drove me everywhere.  To school, to practices, to ballgames, to school plays, to appointments, to church, and to see my friends.  My poor mom spent a great deal of time just driving me around.  But I have to say, this is where we had some of our best conversations.  She made the most of that time in the car with me.

She forgave.  Day in and day out she stuck it out with me.  Even when I was disrespectful, disobedient, or just plain grouchy, my mom forgave me.  She helped me grow into the young lady she knew I could be and showed me that forgiving others is a vital part of any relationship.

She told me no.  My mother knew that her role wasn’t just to be my friend, but to help guide me in making good decisions, in learning the value of sacrifice and of waiting, and understanding how Christ’s timing is sometimes different than my own.

She raised me in church.  She understood that I needed a community of believers to surround me with the love of Christ to help me grow and flourish.

She loved me.  She told me she loved me, she showed me she loved me,  and she helped me learn how to love others.  She also freely gave love to so many that God placed in her path.

She kept her focus on Christ.  She spent time everyday with the Lord in prayer and Bible study.  She allowed Him to guide her in parenting, give her strength, bless her with patience, and provide comfort when she needed it.

She prayed.  She knew she wasn’t able to be everywhere I was, couldn’t protect me from difficulties and pain, wasn’t able to foresee what was to come, and couldn’t change my heart.  But she understood the power of the Lord and she prayed.  She prayed for me everyday and still does.

She never stopped.  Even when I went to college, even when I got married, even when I am unable to visit as often as I should or forget to call as much as I need to, she has never stopped giving me all these wonderful gifts.  Being a mother never ends regardless of our age, no matter how independent our children become, or the distance between us.  Our role as a mother changes but always continues.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother.  I’ve learned so much on this journey and am thankful for God’s great grace, my husband who is a wonderful parenting partner, and two precious kids who love me even on my worst mothering days.  And I will always be grateful for the gifts my mother gave me that showed me how to be a mother.  Love you Mom!

Happy Mother’s Day,

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Avoiding the Tough Stuff

Posted on April 23, 2015 by tammie@chaostochrist.com

Avoiding the Tough Stuff

This morning as I was folding my kids laundry (one of my favorite activities), I realized there were several pieces of clothing that I had just washed recently and didn’t actually recall seeing my kids wear them.

Perhaps you have stumbled upon this problem in your home.  It is easier for kids to put clothes back in the laundry hamper than actually put them in drawers or hang them up as they are expected to do.  It is a bit of a shortcut.  It doesn’t really hurt anyone (other than mom whose laundry pile is never depleted).  It is just a way of avoiding something that perhaps they don’t want to do at the time. They might have had “more important” things to focus on.

And just as I was thinking about the lecture that I am about to give (loving conversation, I mean), my heavenly Father tugged at my heart about how perhaps I do a little of this same thing.  Love how He uses my kids to teach me things!

There are situations, areas in life, weaknesses, relationships, feelings, tasks that I sometimes do my very best to avoid (to throw back in the hamper, if you will).  I convince myself that it doesn’t really hurt anyone (actually it hurts me more than anyone).  And it allows me to focus on the more important things (actually just the things that are easier to deal with and that I’m not so scared to face).

It is amazing how accomplished we can become at shutting off portions of our lives that we don’t want to think about, don’t want to discuss with the Lord, and certainly don’t want to work on or face.  And yet the Savior of our hearts desires to have obedience in all areas of our lives.  Not because He wants to discipline us but because He loves us and wants the very best for us.  He wants to transform us as earthly vessels to become more and more like him.  We can’t do that when we shy away from the tough stuff.  When we act out in fear and shut off the scary areas that perhaps we don’t want to face.  We can’t do it alone, but we don’t have to!  Our God will help us along the way when we place our trust in Him.  Listen to this promise.

 “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-displine.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

My prayer is that we turn over our whole lives (not just the good parts, the areas we are proud of) to Christ.  That we allow Him to show us where we can improve by relying on His strength and grace.  That we become obedient to His will for our lives.  And that slowly and surely, we allow His light and love to transform us so we can be used each day for His glory!

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